How to Cultivate Love in Your Life: Cultivate Relationships

How do you cultivate love in your life? You cultivate relationships. You do that by building closeness, communication, and conflict management.

Happy Valentine’s Day! This post won’t come out on Valentine’s Day. But it is Valentine’s today as I write this.
And the topic is love, so go figure.

Of all things to be doing on Valentine’s Day, our date plans got kiboshed. Instead, I ran an errand for my wife, and I went to the pharmacy. I got her some antibiotics because she’s got an infection that has pretty much knocked her out. Sometimes, love is taking care of each other, supporting each other. It’s not always the fun, fiery, passionate, awesome, romantic date that you go on that you want to tell everybody about. It’s, “Hey, today we’re sick!” I’m getting over a cold, and Skylar has an infection, but we’re doing life together. That’s how things work sometimes.So how do you cultivate love in your life? How do you cultivate love in your important relationships? Well, love is, of course, centered around relationships. And there are different types of love for different levels of relationships. Marriage is the closest relationship that you can have. The most types, the most forms of love are experienced in marriage. Up to and including sexual love and the physical relationship. But there are other types of love that you can experience in other relationships.

So how do you cultivate love in your life? How do you cultivate love in your important relationships? Well, love is, of course, centered around relationships. And there are different types of love for different levels of relationships. Marriage is the closest relationship that you can have. The most types, the most forms of love are experienced in marriage. Up to and including sexual love and the physical relationship. But there are other types of love that you can experience in other relationships.Using the Greek words from the Bible, there are:

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Using the Greek words from the Bible, there are:Agape love, which is the unconditional acceptance and commitment that God has for us. One great way of describing that is agape love “loving you enough to accept you where you are, and too much to leave you where you are.” So this can be your love for your fellow man, to an extent. It recognizes that we’re all human beings. We’re all worthy of dignity and respect. And to the extent that I have resources, I’m going to serve you, and I’m going to help you in some way.

  1. Agape love, which is the unconditional acceptance and commitment that God has for us. One great way of describing that is agape love “loving you enough to accept you where you are, and too much to leave you where you are.” So this can be your love for your fellow man, to an extent. It recognizes that we’re all human beings. We’re all worthy of dignity and respect. And to the extent that I have resources, I’m going to serve you, and I’m going to help you in some way.Phileo love, which is the brotherly love, the friendship, close friendship, kind of love. “Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love.”
  2. Phileo love, which is the brotherly love, the friendship, close friendship, kind of love. “Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love.”Storge, which is the family love, the parent-child love, the sibling love. It’s a close, loyal bond. C.S. Lewis said, “it’s the humblest and most widely diffused of loves.”
  3. Storge, which is the family love, the parent-child love, the sibling love. It’s a close, loyal bond. C.S. Lewis said, “it’s the humblest and most widely diffused of loves.”Eros, which is, of course, the hot, the passionate, the sexual love that you get to have between you and your spouse.
  4. Eros, which is, of course, the hot, the passionate, the sexual love that you get to have between you and your spouse.
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So how do you cultivate each of these different types of love in your life? By cultivating those relationships. When you’re serving other people, you are showing them love in some way. When you are lifting somebody up into better circumstances, you are showing them love in some way.To cultivate love, we need to cultivate

To cultivate love, we need to cultivate:

  • closeness
  • communication
  • good conflict management.

Conflict is a part of life. It happens in every relationship. The question of whether a relationship is healthy is not about if conflict happens, but how conflicts are handled. So we need to be able to manage those things. Closeness, communication, and conflict management.

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Those are going to look different in every relationship. When it’s conflict with your fellow man, conflict management looks different at than it does to manage conflict with your spouse. But you’ll use some of the same basic things, like actually trying to listen and being reflective. For example, saying things like:”Am I hearing you right?”

“Am I hearing you right?””Do I understand you correctly?”

“Do I understand you correctly?”You’re summarizing what they have said and then responding to it after you know that you understand.

You’re summarizing what they have said and then responding to it after you know that you understand.Love feels fullest and deepest when it goes two ways between both parties. But in some sense, it’s

Love feels fullest and deepest when it goes two ways between both parties. But in some sense, it’s truest, and it’s most authentic even when it’s only one way. For example, first John 4:19 says, “we love because he first loved us.”
This is speaking of the love of God for the people who come to believe in Jesus as Savior. We love because he first loved us. Being loved incites love. So even when love only goes one way for a time, it does eventually incite love.

So cultivating love in each of our relationships is going to be serving other people, hearing other people, and being available to help and to serve them, to the best of our ability.

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About the Author

I am a Christian, husband, father, counselor, and blogger. I exist to educate, equip, and empower people for great relationships.

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